your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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