and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize