Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So many bounce houses so little time
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
