obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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