I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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