it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
