i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
