Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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