one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
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No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
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I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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