worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
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I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
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I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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