Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
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