so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
