you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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