just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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