I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
