oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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