Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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