It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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