Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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