She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
