Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
