you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
