i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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