i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
