would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I touched a dick in church today
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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