captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
