Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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