just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
