For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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