If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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