It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
