Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
