her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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