when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
