So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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