They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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