I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
