I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
