she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
