Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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