woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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