I CAN MOONWALK!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
