I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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