can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
