She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
