Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
