I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
