I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
