Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
