You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
