At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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