They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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