wat bout pragnant strippers??
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize
