Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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