If i come over, it means nothing
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
should my penis look like a turkey
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
