The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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