I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
