FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
