Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize