So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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