Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
