thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Just invented taco cereal.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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