And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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