New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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